The outward performance and success of a Christian leader depends largely on his inner life. No person who is self-serving, proud, lazy or hypocritical should have followers. So to build good relationships with others we must first build a good relationship with God and allow Him to mold us into His image.

1. Inner characteristics that lead to successful relationships:
A.  A servant’s heart.
1) Mark 10:45
2) Luke 22:27
B. A sensitive spirit.
1) Mark 8:1-3
C. Love and trust.
1) 1 John 3:14
D. Honesty and openness.
E. Acceptance.
F. Forgiveness.

2. Attitudes of Leadership:
A. The first message Jesus preached was not on salvation, healing or deliverance, but on attitudes.
B. What is beatitude?

“An attitude that ought to be.”

C. In his message in Matthew 5, there are three attitudes we ought to have:
1) Humility, Matthew 5:3-5
A. Pride of the devil.
B. There are two diseases caused by pride:
1) Ignorance.
A. Pride will cause a person to ignore good advice. They are unteachable.
2) Insecurity
A. A leader who has their eyes on themselves will be concerned how they appear to others.
B. He is a man pleaser rather than a God pleaser.
2) Holiness, Matthew 5:6-9
A. Daniel 1:8, he purposed in his heart not to defile himself.
B. 2 Corinthians 6:14-16, be not teamed with people of darkness.

3) Happiness, Matthew 5:10-12
A. The joy of the Lord is our strength.
B. Joy is:

Jesus first
Others second
You last

4) Steps to take in building relationships:
A. Desire to help people.
B. Forgive people.
C. Trust people.
D. Be sensitive.
E. Be flexible.
F. Deal with frustration.
G. Acknowledge limitations.

5) Learning to communicate:
A. If a leader does not learn to communicate it will hinder their effectiveness. Communication is the exchange of meaning.
1) A person communicates with their entire being.
2) A person listens with their entire being.

B. Messages of communication:
1) What a person intends to say.
2) What a person actually says.
3) What the hearer wants to hear.
4) What the hearer actually hears.

C. Godly phrases that help communication:
1) “Forgive me”
2) “I’m sorry”
3) “I love you”

D. Practical principals of communications:
1) Make it safe to talk.
E. Establish an atmosphere of love, honesty and openness.
2) Seek to understand, not to be understood.
3) Do not assume you know, just ask.
F. Never assume that you know what people are thinking.
4) Be slow to speak and quick to listen.
G. Learn to concentrate and be active while listening.
5) Deal with the potential of people, not the past.
H. See what they can become instead of what they are.
6) Learn to disagree without being disrespectful.
7) Pray for one another.

About Bill Jenkins

Bill Jenkins is a senior Pastor who has served in full time ministry for over 27 years, renowned conference, life coach and an award winning author. He has been recognized by the Mayor of Indianapolis as a community service leader and by the Minority Business Men as a “Man of Distinction”. He has been featured in Charisma magazine on Trinity Broadcasting Network as well as many other media sources. He is passionate about his work and desires to bring hope and encouragement to those he comes in contact with.

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